ROTFL OMG

Person1: “Do you know how i know harry potter isnt real?”

Person2 : “How?”

Person1: “Come on a red head with 2 friends…”

A wasted bumb riding the bus watches a man get on the bus, ths man is dressed nicely and has some jewlery on. The bumb intently watches as this man walks up to the first girl he sees on the bus and says “Tickle your ass with a feather?”, the woman has a shocked expression on her face as she askes “What???” and he says “Particularly nice weather?”. The woman just says “Why yes it is.” and the guy goes and sits near the bumb watching him. The bumb bumps his are and slurres “So whats with this Tickle your ass with a feather shit?” The nicely dressed man says “Well im a player and i like to meet loose woman, so i say tickle your ass with a feather, if they are easy then i get laid. If they are not easy and i dont get the responce that i want then i say “Particularly nice weather?” and we both go on our ways. “This has worked well for me you should try it sometime.” This man tells the bumb. He then gets off the bus and the bumb watches the most beautiful woman this bumb had ever seen get on the bus, the bumb says to him self “Im going to try this tickle your ass with a feather shit.” The bumb walks over to where this beautiful lady is sitting and slurres “Tickle your ass with a feather?” The woman says “WHAT?!?!?!” The bumb slurres “HEY LADY WANT TO FUCK?”

A doctor goes in to write a perscription for his patient, he pulls out his thermometer and says ”Aww shit, some ass hole has got my pen.”

On X-mas Santa stopped at the first house. When he got down the chimney he found a beautiful red head waiting for him. She walked over to santa and said “Santa you should stay tonight, I’ll make it worth your while.” Santa replied ” Ho Ho Ho, got to go for all the good little boys and girls! “, he droped the presents and shimmied up the chimney.

After Santa got down the second chimney he found a gorgous brunette in her panties, with a bottle of wine, waiting for him. She said said to him ” Santa you should stay tonight ill make it worth your while! ” Santa cracked a smle and said after dropping his presents  ” Ho Ho Ho, got to go for all the good little boys and girls! “, then he rushed out the chimney on to the next house.

Santa climbed down the last chimney and found a completely naked, smoking hot blonde waiting for him with wine in a glass and she said ” Santa if you stay ill let you do things that Mrs. Clause never lets you do to her!!! ” And Santa replied ” Hey Hey Hey, got to say, cant go up the chimney with my dick this way! “